How Can I find Myself Again? Embracing the Autumn Transition.

As the golden hues of autumn settle in, nature invites us to embrace a shift. A slowing down, a turning inward, a letting go. We often have conversations with the women in our community who are at a point in their lives where they have felt lost, like they have lost the connection with who they are at their core and often ask the question, how can I find myself again? And it is a struggle for some to even know where to start.

Autumn is an invitation to begin right where we are, a chance to turn inward, to reflect, and to embrace the transformation that is waiting for us. Just as the trees release their leaves in preparation for winter, so too can we use this season as an opportunity for renewal and self-discovery. For many women, particularly those navigating this transition, autumn is more than a season; it is a mirror reflecting their own shift from one phase of life to another. It is a perfect time to ask, how can I find myself again?

The Autumn of Life: Embracing Change

In the natural cycle of a woman's life, menopause and perimenopause mirror the season of autumn. It is a time of immense transition - a shift from the outward energy of our summer years, filled with doing, achieving, and caregiving, into a more introspective and intentional phase. The previous years have been about the outward energy of summer or the "Mother" phase, where we, as women, often put ourselves last, losing the connection to who we truly are. But autumn offers something different: the opportunity to reconnect with ourselves, to explore who we are beyond our roles, and to truly find ourself again.

The Wild Woman Phase

This stage of life is often referred to as the "Wild Woman" phase - a time when we begin to reclaim parts of ourselves that have been buried beneath responsibilities, expectations, and societal norms. The Wild Woman is intuitive, untamed, and deeply connected to her own wisdom. She is no longer defined by the roles of mother, daughter, or caregiver but instead by her own sense of identity.

The Wild Woman phase, which typically occurs around perimenopause and menopause, is an awakening. It is a time of shedding the need for external validation, stepping away from societal pressure, and embracing an unapologetic authenticity. For some women, this feels like liberation, a newfound sense of confidence and purpose. For others, it can feel unsettling, even chaotic, as they navigate the discomfort of releasing old identities and stepping into the unknown.

We often call this transition a "mid-life crisis", or "identity crisis" a time when we seem to no longer understand where we fit in our daily lives. We may find ourselves in turmoil, questioning our purpose, the meaning of life, all while washing dishes (again) and noticing that our physical health is changing. Mental health struggles may surface, feelings of anxiety, restlessness, or even grief for the parts of ourselves that feel lost. Negative self-talk can creep in, and we may become our own biggest critic, questioning whether we are still valuable, still relevant, or still capable of change, resulting in feelings of confusion.

Yet, within this transition lies immense power. The Wild Woman is not lost; she is simply unearthing the parts of herself that have been long neglected. This is the time to listen deeply, to honour desires that have been dismissed, and to step fully into who you are meant to be.

“And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.” — Anaïs Nin

Letting Go: A Vital Step in Transformation

Just as trees shed their leaves, women in this phase of life are called to release outdated roles, expectations, and commitments that no longer serve them. This process of shedding can be both liberating and unsettling. It requires courage to let go of the identities we have clung to, whether as caregivers, professionals, or nurturers, and step into a new version of ourselves.

Reflection and Renewal

Autumn is a time of reflection, a moment to look back on the vibrant days of summer and acknowledge the growth, the joys, and the lessons learned. This is a perfect time to ask:

• How can I find myself again after years of prioritising others?

• What am I holding onto that no longer serves me?

• What expectations, either my own or societal, can I release?

• How have I been defining myself, and does that definition still feel true?

• What parts of my past self do I want to reclaim?

• What small steps can I take today to nurture my authentic self?

• How can I nourish my body, mind, and soul as I transition into this new season?

• What passions or creative pursuits have I long ignored that I now have space to explore?

• In what ways can I honour the wisdom I have gained throughout my life and share it with others?

• How can I shift my daily routine to better align with what I truly need?

• Where in my life do I need more quiet time to reflect and recharge?

By reflecting on these questions, we allow ourselves to release, renew, and realign with what truly matters. Instead of spending all of our energy meeting expectations, we can pour that energy into passion projects, self-exploration, and personal growth.

The Power of Seasonal Alignment

Nature operates in cycles, and so do we. When we align with these rhythms, life flows with more ease and harmony. Instead of resisting the inward pull of autumn, we can embrace it by:

• Prioritising Rest: Making time for stillness, whether through meditation, journaling, or simply sitting with a warm cup of tea, allows us to hear the wisdom within.

• Nourishing the Body: As energy shifts inward, choosing grounding, nutrient-dense foods supports both physical health and mental health.

• Honouring Boundaries: Just as nature lets go of what is no longer needed, we too can set boundaries that protect our energy and well-being.

• Creating Quiet Time: Building moments of solitude into our daily lives can help us reconnect with our intuition and inner wisdom. It decreases the mind chatter and results in a clearer mind.

• Engaging in Self-Expression: Exploring creative outlets such as writing, painting, or movement can help us reconnect with our passion projects.

• Spending Time in Nature: Observing the changes in the environment around us can serve as a gentle reminder of our own natural cycles.

• Deepening Connections: Surrounding ourselves with supportive people who understand and honour our journey can help us feel more anchored during times of transition. Ridding ourselves of toxic relationships and replacing them with connections to like-hearted people going on a similar personal growth journey can assist with this transition.

• Reevaluating Priorities: Taking stock of what truly matters and letting go of commitments that drain us can create space for what truly brings us joy.

• Embracing the Wild Woman Energy: Allowing yourself to explore passions, creativity, and new ways of being without fear of judgment.

• Reconnecting with Intuition: Trusting inner guidance rather than seeking external validation often releases the internal and external pressures that we tend to place on ourselves. The saying of "come back home" refers to our heart space - the doorway to our true self. Our home.

• Shifting Energy with Movement: Engaging in practices like yoga, walking, or dance to connect with the body and ease the transition into this new phase of life. Creating a healthy habit of movement shows the body that we are not just giving up, that all aspects of ourselves, our mind, heart, body and soul, are in this together.

Autumn as an Invitation

Rather than viewing this transition as an ending, autumn, and this phase of life, can be seen as an invitation to step into deeper self-awareness and authenticity. It is an opportunity to reconnect with who we are beyond societal roles and expectations. It is a season of wisdom, of tuning into intuition, and of preparing for the powerful stillness of winter.

So as the leaves begin to fall, take a moment to honour your own season of change. Release, reflect, and embrace the beauty of transformation. Just as nature trusts its cycles, trust your own.

So the answer to the question: "how can I find myself again?" The wisdom of autumn is waiting for you, to help guide you back home, to you.

Big love,

Kelly and Anna

xxx

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