When the Past Creeps In: How to Break the Loop and Come Back to Presence

Have you ever had a moment when something seemingly small - a tone of voice, a look, even a scent - pulled you into a familiar emotion that you thought you'd moved past? Maybe it was guilt. Maybe it was a wave of not-enoughness. Or perhaps it was the feeling of retreating, shutting down, or people-pleasing without really knowing why.

In episode 19 of the Nourish Connect Thrive podcast, we explored a powerful and deeply human experience: what happens when the past creeps in.

The Loop: Thought → Feeling → Reaction → Shame → Repeat

We all have patterns - ways of thinking, feeling, and reacting - that get encoded over time, usually as a way to protect ourselves. These are not failures. These are not flaws. These are survival strategies that helped us feel safe when something once hurt us, embarrassed us, or made us feel unseen.

But here’s the thing: these patterns often become loops. And unless we bring conscious awareness to them, we start living from them instead of with them.

Let’s say someone makes a comment that touches a raw nerve. Your body tenses. Your mind races. You lash out or shut down. And afterward, you feel guilty. Ashamed. Confused. Why did I do that? I thought I was past this.

This isn’t regression. It’s your nervous system signalling that it’s time to revisit an old story - not to re-live it, but to re-write it.

When Old Wounds Resurface

So many women are experiencing this now - being asked to rise not through hustle or perfection, but through honesty and presence.

But presence is hard when we’re stuck in the past. When old hurts, past shame, or deeply buried beliefs sneak up, it can feel like being thrown off-centre. We may think, “I’ve failed,” or “I should be over this by now.” But what if, instead of seeing it as failure, we saw it as a sign of growth?

Because every time you expand into a new version of yourself, your nervous system has to catch up. It brings up what’s unhealed not to punish you - but to integrate what was once fragmented.

Awareness Is Power

This is where transformation begins - not with controlling our triggers, but with creating space between stimulus and response.

We call it the sacred pause.

That split second when something happens, and instead of automatically reacting, you take a breath. You ask:

• Where am I right now?

• What is this really about?

• What do I need in this moment?

That pause breaks the loop. It turns subconscious reaction into conscious response. It’s where your power lives.

Loving the Shadow Back In

Another theme we explored in the episode is the idea that our shadow - the parts of us that feel unworthy, fearful, or ashamed - isn’t broken. It’s brilliant. It holds wisdom. And it’s guiding us home.

We’ve been taught to suppress those parts. To push them away. But the healing begins when we soften toward them. When we say,

“I see you. What do you need from me right now?”

This is how we reclaim our wholeness. Not by becoming perfect, but by becoming honest.

Not by fixing ourselves, but by loving ourselves back together.

A Moment of Presence

Let’s take a breath together:

• One hand on your heart, one on your belly.

• Inhale deeply through your nose.

• Exhale softly through your mouth.

• Ask yourself: Where am I right now, really?

Don’t fix. Don’t judge. Just feel.

That’s presence. And that’s the medicine.

Final Words

The world doesn’t need you to be more perfect. It needs you to be more present.

When you notice the loop, when you feel the past creeping in, pause. Listen. Soften. Meet yourself where you really are - not where you think you should be.

And let that be enough.

Because you are not broken. You are not behind. You are being called forward - bruises, beauty, shadow and all.

You are ready.

To explore this further, watch the Exhausted to Empowered Webinar below: